Haroo-o or: Why Does the English of the Japanese Suck

- I'm always impressed - said my German friend on the way back from our local supermarket - by how good the Japanese students' German is. I mean - some of them speak so well, just after a short year abroad in Germany!

I nodded thoughtfully.

-Of course - he continued - they studied before they went there, but still... German is such a complicated language at places, and the pronunciation...

I muttered approvingly, myself being a slightly traumatized victim of this very, em, specific language.

- And - he added - it's so surprising after you hear their English, which simply...

- Sucks? - I finished. We both agreed on this one.

Just recently I've been happily riding the bike with my Italian friend when we encountered a group of annoyingly loud Japanese schoolgirls. The moment they saw us, like the flock of greyish crows they croaked: haroo-o! The smile went off my face. I looked at them wanting to say something hurtful back, or to smack them at least, not really knowing what infuriated me most - the fact that they dared to disturb me and my space for no apparent reason when I didn't wish for it, or the fact that their English sucked so badly.

I've noticed myself that the Japanese students who study foreign languages other than English generally seem to excel a typical language student, let it be an American, Polish or Scandinavian. Diligence, study techniques, perserverance and passivity, all developed as a result of countless years in Japanese school system pay off nicely, and the Japanese seem to acquire their new languages in no time. When they start talking, they usually do that correctly and without a strong accent, maybe occassionally losing a sound or two. Then it's just a matter of practice, really.

Now, volumes of internet wisdom have been written on the subject of Why Japanese People's English Sucks, most of them with possible solutions to the problem. Native speakers that spent sufficient amount of years here in Japan often refer to their work in the field as trully Sisyphean labours the result of which tends to be slightly haphazardous. I came up with my own theory after trying to teach some Japanese students The English Language. Do you want to know the real reason why the English of the Japanese sucks? Answer: because they don't really care.

Now, before you stone me, let me defend my opinion here. What's the difference between English and other languages? You'll not convince me that French, German or even Spanish are easier to master by the Japanese than English. Yet somehow the level of acquisition of the other languages juxtapositioned with their English is incomparable. What's the difference here? The conscious WILL to study. They WANT to study their other languages. If they do study them, the tuition is generally on the highest possible level. As for English...   

They start being exposed to it really early. Too early, in fact, because some of them start, ekhem, 'studying' as early as kindergarten. And it's not even any proper English, it's the horrible katakanized pronunciation-English, as only very few places can afford a native speaker in an early education centre. Having poor teachers from the very beginning (majority of whom not only having received poor English education themselves, but is also impaired linguistically by not being able to differenciate between 'l' and 'r' sound, very Japanese problem) usually result in the poorness getting transmitted easily. Having mediocre pronunciation themselves, the teachers hold mediocre expectations towards their students' pronunciation. The student continues to receive poor language year after year, not even making a conscious decision about studying the language, poorness of it being only fortified by the system that reinforces the passive skills like reading and listening by continuous testing and no possibility to have any real language practice. Even if they're lucky enough to encounter a native English speaker in their high school years, it's usually too late for any real change and applying any real corrections. There is still hope for the chosen few with wealthy parents and a possibilty to go abroad for a year, but that only works till a certain age (the puberty language acquisition theory) and only if no other Japanese goes with them.

It seems like a question of practical language use is on the far end of priorities, if it is there at all. Seems that more important is doing it incorrectly for many years and take pride in the fact that Japan has one of the longest obligatory English education systems in the world, the system that results in acquiring a hybrid, Japanglish that cannot be understood or used as a communication tool unless you're a Japanese or an English-speaking student of Japanese. Sad, but true for the Japanese. Good news for the pilgrimages of more and less authentic English natives flooding Japan each year, as there will always be a demand and nice money for those, minus the work satisfaction.

To defend the Japanese, I can only tell that it's not entirely their fault. If you were brought up in the system that didn't really care about making your English correct, why would (and should) you? It's really sad for those few that probably painfully realize all the above, and as adults try to re-acquire English, this time properly. Chances are that even then, their English is always going to suck this way or another. 

But even in this sea of really terrible katakanized Engrish here, one occassionally encounters a rare jewel that despite all odds managed to somehow learn some proper English. I guess this is an example of these who at some point consciously realized they WANT to do study it properly, instead of going with the easily obtainable flow of poorness.

PS. As for brazen people who dare to 'Haroo-o' me on the street without a warning/invitation, I developed a survival mechanism. Unless they're really little kids waving cheerfully and calling me おねえさん, onee-san, older sister (different story when it's おばあさん, obaa-san, auntie - then my reaction might be slightly different), I reply in very calm Japanese: 発音は違うよ。ばかやろう。Wrong pronunciation, you moron.

I might be an evil creature, but, as my Italian friend would put it - they SO deserve it! Who knows, maybe one or two would go home, shocked after hearing the above, and actually ask themselves: what's the correct pronunciation of Hello? 

Star Base at dusk; one of the few trully snowy days in Kyoto, winter 2011/2012

... and how the typhoon didn't let me have classes today after all

So it's official - warning is still in power and it means that there are no classes today. Oh well. Maybe I'm a studying geek, but I really regret that I don't have anything to do today. I guess I will do some self-study then. Everybody who diligently studies any language knows that there are always TONS to learn, so I shall be all right. I'm no expert on typhoons, 台風(taifuu), but this one seems strong, and all the precautions have been taken really seriously. Public transport has been suspended, there was a series of sirens and warnings. It's still unclear which way the typhoon no.15 (that's its name) will take, so all the regions are getting prepared. Here is the live coverage of 15's trajectory: http://weathernews.jp/typhoon/  


I've always liked studying. I could never understand people who complained that they HAD TO go to school. And how much they hated it. (Now you can see that all over the internet, unfortunately, because the teens with too much free time in their hands are in power over the net; my baby sister always updates me on pages like these http://www.kwejk.pl/, where on Sundays you see tons of pictures about how much they hate school, how much they don't need it and how much they would kill the teachers/parents if they could be MacGyvers and invent a laser gun from an eraser and math notebook... etc.). Oh, I would forget: how much they 'don't need no education' nor any A-levels or its equivalent to achieve anything in life. 

Well, it's fine with me. Drop out, go away, do something else with your life, so I do not have to be surrounded by you and laughed at how much of a geek I am, and then afterwards eagerly looked for when the test approaches so you have somebody to cheat from. And I could be spared all the talks from teachers who try to cheer you up, telling that you're not 'THAT hopeless', 'grades don't mean a thing', and 'you do have bright moments sometimes, which makes it more valuable for me as a teacher than listening to people who can talk smartly all the time'. All of which wonderfully cross out all my hard work for all my life.

But no, in Poland there is a so-called school duty till the age of 18. So instead of letting people do what they like at the age of 15 or 16, like in most reasonable countries, even cease studying if they wish to, in Poland they are still over-keeping them at upper high schools. How pointless, but foremost how discouraging it is for people that actually like learning new things, like to study and want to achieve something, we can all imagine.

Kids in Japan start going to school at the age of 6 when they enter 小学校 (shoo-gakkoo), elementary school. Before that, from as early as 3 years old they can attend 幼稚園(yoochi-en), kindergarten. After 6 grades of elementary school (altogether 6 years), there is a compulsory 3 year long 中学校(chuu-gakkoo), junior high school. Although since then the studying is not obligatory, over 98% of teens proceed to 高等学校(kootoo-gakkoo), known in short as 高校(kookoo), lasting 3 years. These who decide not to go to the upper high can decide to go to 高専(koo-sen), College of Technology, which lasts 5 years.

Afterwards they it all depends which road they want to take. 1/ They can proceed to 大学(daigaku), university, and after 4 years achieve a Bachelor equivalent; if they wish to continue, they can proceed to 大学院(daigaku-in) which roughly translates as 'graduate school', where you can obtain your Master and Ph.D.; university studies are not free, they require fees. 2/ They can go to school/college/university known commonly under the name of 大学校(dai-gakkoo), which are either provided by the national government or by independent institutions. For instance, it can be a Meteorological College provided by already mentioned Japanese Meteorological Agency, Japanese Coast Guard Academy or a Polytechnic University by the Ministry of Defense. Depending on the institution, fees are being paid for the student, some of them are even paying students the salary and provide them with work after graduation. On some of the institutions a further academic career is possible; 3/They can go to medicine-related schools like 医学部 (igaku-bu), Medicine School, 獣医学部 (juigaku-bu), Veterinary School, 歯学部 (shika-bu), Dentistry School, 薬学部 (yakugaku-bu), Pharmaceutical School, and 防衛医科大学校 (booei ikka daigakko), National Defense Medical College. On all but the latter there is a possibility of proceeding to Ph D. studies. 4/ Alternatively, right after upper high school they can go to 短期大学(tanki daigaku, literally short-term university) Community College, or a 専門学校(senmon gakko), Vocational School. They both last 2 years.

Going to university requires passing not only the university exams, but also the National Entrance Exam, conducted all around Japan on the same day. The best universities accept only the best students with great academic history and perfect exam performance.


In Japan the educational system is strict - you either wish to study, or just go away, but don't just sit back and expect miracles to happen afterwards. Any unexpected fortune to inherit, becoming another Bill Gates by sheer fluke, creating a new Apple you will name Pear, and one day becoming a music star. It will not happen if you don't take your life in your hands, and don't work hard to obtain it. If you do wish to study, don't do it half-way just to please your mommy and daddy, you can as well do it really hard, it will only be for your benefit. 

Already seeing a smirk on your face? Well, you are entitled to your own opinion. But how many worldwide-known and desired goods does your country produce? Why do you think that is? Japan is just a tiny little island country on the edge of three massive tectonic plates. People who like to see the obstacles everywhere have a perfect example of almost nothing but obstacles: earthquakes, typhoons, mountains, no free space for farming, not much land for crops, being and island country, very little national resources, post-World War II disasters, one of the weirdest languages in the world with a really weird writing system. How did this country manage to stand up and have such an influence on the entire world still baffles the researchers, but the fact that people are organized and determined to work hard and cooperate regardless of what they actually do definitely helps. If they farm animals, they give this task everything they can. If they are the サラリーマン, the white-collar workers, they still work as good as they can. If they study, they give their very best. 

And it all pays off in the long run. Because after all any country is mostly the sum of people that form its nation. And honestly, Japanese people are are one of the best 'resources' Japan has ever had. 

And now all together, gentlemen, all together! No place for 協調性がない人 - people with no cooperative spirit.